To Love a Rakish Earl (Preview)

Prologue

London, England

Late winter, 1814

 “Miss Katherine Langley, you look utterly ravishing tonight. I would love nothing more than to have this dance with you.”

It had already been a wonderful spring evening. Kate felt like the luckiest woman alive to attend such an incredible ball and to be surrounded by London’s finest company. Yet there was one person who intrigued her the most: the Marquess of Fairbridge. Having him showing a similar interest in her made her dreams come true. Her heart fluttered with excitement, although she tried to maintain a composed demeanor. It was not ladylike to have a red, shining face due to happiness, particularly in polite company.

“Thank you very much.” She dipped into a curtsey, darting her eyes respectfully toward the floor.

The Marquess of Fairbridge bowed deep and low, showing Kate the sort of respect she had only dreamed of from a man. A man so dashing as well, with a chiseled jawline, deep brown eyes, broad shoulders, and a grave expression on his face that suggested he always took life seriously. By the time he rose back up once more, Kate could hardly wait.

He extended his arm to her, and Kate took it willingly. She could feel the eyes of everyone upon them as he led her into the middle of the dance floor. A waltz began; it was the perfect dance for him to pull her close to his body, giving Kate an intense flutter of butterflies in the pit of her stomach while he held her with his powerful hands. There was protectiveness to his touch which caused her heart to race and pitter-patter as they glided gracefully together.

“You truly are the most beautiful woman in this room,” Douglas, the Marquess of Fairbridge, declared in a whisper. He leaned down a little closer to her so Kate could feel his breath tickling her ear. “Soon, you shall be my marchioness.”

She smiled coyly to herself. No, this was not a dream. She was no longer a small girl dreaming in her bedchambers about a charming man coming to sweep her off her feet. This was truly real life, and the man of her dreams was here in this beautiful, grand room, dashing in his finest, most expensive suit. She wore a pale blue dress that had ruffled sleeves, a lacy neckline, and was cinched in at her waist, around her tightly fitted corset, and swept out delicately around her feet. Kate’s long, honey-brown hair was worn in a tight chignon with curls coaxed out to frame her oval face. The style highlighted her best features, such as her dainty nose and soft, high-arched brows and her sparkling emerald eyes. She had never looked so beautiful; that was something she could even acknowledge to herself, and which made the entire evening that much more special. It gave great promise for what their wedding would be like.

“I cannot wait to be your wife,” she whispered back just as quietly. “One more Sunday, and the banns shall be read.”

After that had happened, they could be wed and Kate’s real life would begin. Her life as Marchioness Katherine Langley, although she would always prefer to be referred to as Kate, would finally begin. She would no longer feel like the child of her family, which she always had done because she was the youngest daughter of the duke and duchess of Ridgebrook. She could blossom into the adult that she had always been desperate to become, as a wife and, one day, a mother, too. She would have a family of her own, which was an idea that Kate found incredibly thrilling.

Her elder brother, Jonathan, who currently resided in the Far East overseeing their father’s import-export business interests, had always told Kate that she was beautiful enough to attract the attention of a suitable man very quickly, but she had not truly believed it until Douglas had begun showering her with kindness. Their courtship had been short and magnificent. Douglas had been so eager to ensure that Katherine Langley was his that he had sped the courtship process along quickly.

But just because their courtship had been a short one, did not make it any less thrilling. The couple had been horse riding, on picnics, and they had taken many a walk together during which time Kate learned of Douglas’s big heart. He cared about society’s problems just as much as she did and loved how she often knitted clothing for orphan children. He had even promised that once they were married, they would take on a lot of charitable acts, which Kate adored.

How could any other man be as good for her as this one?

Kate wondered what Jonathan, the most important man in her life, would think of Douglas, if he were here to meet him in person. Her brother’s opinion would be important to her, possibly even more so than her father’s opinion because they had grown up extremely close, yet she would not be able to discover the truth of his feelings until she was Douglas’s wife. He was a good man who could provide a wonderful life for her and would always keep her happy. Surely, that would be the most important thing to Jonathan, along with the rest of her family. She could not see any issues ever arising with such a union with him.

Unfortunately, because she enjoyed her time with her Marquess of Fairbridge far too much, the waltz was over far too quickly. Kate could have spent the entire night in his arms, but they were not wed yet and it would not be proper. They could only spend a certain amount of time holding one another, but that did not dampen Kate’s mood. She did not believe that anything could possibly alter her happiness. 

Many women she knew were not as lucky. They married men they barely knew, much less had any feelings for, but Kate knew with utter certainty that she was in love. Not just love but head-over-heels love. Douglas made her giddy, made her pulse beat with a thrill, made her stomach turn over in an uncontrollable manner. She adored being near him, talking to him, looking into his eyes. She knew that she would have done absolutely anything for him.

Yes, Kate was lucky. She understood this and would never take it for granted. She would never become one of those women bored of her husband, desperate to get away from him. Douglas inspired so many wonderful emotions within her. That would never change, Kate could feel it deep in her soul. She would always feel this way about the Marquess of Fairbridge.

***

Kate could hardly speak on the carriage ride home. This was not because she had nothing to say to her parents, who had kindly escorted her to the ball, but because she simply had too much she wanted to get out and she did not know where to begin. As the Duke and Duchess of Ridgebrook, her mother and father, had high expectations of Kate’s behavior, chatting endlessly from the ball all the way home would not be considered proper.

They were not cold people, not like the parents of some of Kate’s school friends, but she had always been closer to Jonathan than them. Kate had always found him far easier to talk to. 

The duke was a very serious man, with his head in business always. It made him incredibly successful, but left little room for anything else. The duchess looked wonderful, always. She was the sort of woman who could have gone to a ball every single day, given half the chance, which showed in what she wore. Her mother tolerated Kate’s desire to help the world out but had always told Kate that marriage was the most important thing.

Thankfully, they both liked Douglas very much.

Because of this, Kate lost herself in her imagination instead as she watched the streets of London go by. She admired the beauty of the homes and trees under the fiery night lights while she allowed her emotions to soak themselves in her daydreams. She put herself back in the arms of Douglas as he spun her around the dance floor to the glorious music of the waltz once more. Only this time, she was wearing her stunning, fancy wedding gown, which would cause talk in many drawing rooms.

It would be ivory colored, and lace and pearls would decorate the silky material. The Duke of Ridgebrook would not have his youngest daughter married in anything but the finest of gowns. Kate also wished to wear a long veil, one that almost matched the length of the train on her dress, and sparkling jewelry to really make her a princess.

Kate enjoyed being the center of attention, and loved it when all gossip centered on her, because people could only find nice things to say about her. Even if they experienced any jealousy, Kate’s nurturing and intelligent personality won them around. Her family name garnered her respect, and she would enjoy the same high status as a marchioness.

“We are not far from home now,” her father muttered, almost to himself, as the carriage moved a little faster. The duke spoke with a slight weariness. It was clear he could not wait to find himself in his manor home, back in his office where he could work into the early hours of the morning like he did most nights, following in the footsteps of her well-known, hardworking family whose business prowess was admired all over the city. Kate was the opposite. She wanted to remain in her ball gown all night long. 

But she supposed her lady’s maid would not allow her to sleep in her attire for fear of ruining it. 

“Ooh, what happened to the carriage then?” Kate gasped, barely realizing that she had spoken. “What is happening?” 

The large black carriage rumbled and rocked to the side, tipping Kate a little too close to the window. From this angle, she could see the spokes of the oversized wheels. All of a sudden, Kate gripped hard onto the seat underneath her as she realized the speed at which they were traveling. It felt much too fast, out of control almost. Carriage rides had only ever been smooth for her before, particularly when they were close to home, where the roads were well-maintained. Now, she could hear the horses’ hooves crashing in a gallop against the paving stones, and her father yanked open the window to shout out at the driver, rapping his walking stick on the carriage to gain the man’s attention. 

However, their pace did not slacken, and her father drew his head and arm back inside the carriage, muttering an oath. Kate and her mother reeled in their seats, off-balance and shaken. The entire experience was made so much worse for Kate by the sheer terror written across the faces of her parents. Her father was never one to show fear, yet this was frightening him. Kate resisted the urge to let out a terrified scream.

The carriage lurched violently, half-throwing Kate onto the floor, but her father grabbed her and hauled her upright again. A loud bang filled her ears. It was so shocking that Kate flinched while the sound ricocheted inside her mind. Yet what followed was so much worse. It did not matter how tightly she attempted to grip onto the seat underneath her, she could not. Kate’s sense of the world was all topsy-turvy, upside down and inside out, as the carriage violently flipped over onto its side, knocking everyone out of their seats and against the walls of the carriage.

It all happened too rapidly. Kate’s eyes blurred, and she did not even know where her body was, only that it was no longer connected to anything.

The sounds were jarring. Banging, screaming, smashing…But what did any of it mean? Kate was not sure, only that it could not be good. Her world was being overturned, and she was terrified…

But just as Kate felt sure that she was about to lose her mind, everything stopped once more. At least the earth had stopped rocking around them. It was one thing to be grateful for.

That was until the agonizing pain kicked in.

My head! Kate noticed the pounding in the left side of her brain first of all. A throbbing, pounding sensation that sickened her to her very core. She tried to move, but her back remained pinned back against the carriage wall, unable to move at all. A window pane dug into her spine, but there was nothing she could do.

Luckily, she could hear the footmen screaming and shouting as they attempted to untangle the panicking horses. Kate was quite certain that she could also hear her mother talking to her father. Everyone else was all right, and they would come to rescue her soon.

Yet immediate rescue did not remain her priority for long. An excruciating agony screamed from her right leg. It was a pain so sharp and terrible it stripped the remaining breath from her lungs.

Kate fought to move, but she could not. It was too much effort to even keep her eyes open. There was a slight voice in the back of her head telling her to keep awake so she could find out what happened to the carriage, and where everyone else was, but the dizziness was far too intense for her to control.

Much as she wanted to cry out to her mother and father, to see if they were in pain also, Kate did not have the strength.

“Miss?” Everything became blurry and a little dark, as though viewed through a pinhole. “Miss, do you hear me?”

She could hear this voice. Kate could also see the most mesmerizing coffee-brown eyes staring at her, but none of it meant anything. Her brain had disconnected from her body and nothing made sense. The agony no longer remained as a burning heat in her leg but was creeping up her body, making her grow slack and still.

The eyes were a comfort though. If she had to lose her life in such a violent way at nineteen years of age, at least she could be grateful for the comfort the eyes had given her at the end. She would rather have her life, especially since she was on the verge of getting everything she wanted at long last, but Kate had to take comfort in what she had left…

Chapter One

London, England

Spring 1814

The rays of sunlight were much too bright for Kate’s delicate eyes. She did not want to let the warm, late spring day into her life, but it refused to be ignored. The sun would not allow her to remain sleeping, however much she wished to, which was a shame because the life that Kate dreamt of was so much better than the reality she had to face.

“Please, leave me be,” she whispered into the void, as if the sun would hear her apologize, then tuck itself away again behind the clouds so she was not compelled to face it. But, of course, that never happened. The sun remained bright in the sky, streaming through Kate’s window, forcing the day upon her whether she wanted it or not.

Kate never used to wake up feeling like this. Her real life excited her, and she could not wait to leave her bedchamber to face the day ahead. Her positive attitude had lit up the household, and she’d had such a zest for life, particularly in the warmer months. Especially as she grew into adulthood and her life was moving in the way that she wanted. Kate knew that she was lucky, for she loved how perfect her life had become, she struggled to contain her happiness always…

But two months ago, that had all been stripped from her. The moment she felt her world turned upside down in the horrors of the carriage collision, Kate’s life had been put on hold. She knew the crash would be bad as soon as she heard that terrible banging sound. When she was flung through the air and lost to pain and dizziness, she instinctively knew there could be no good outcome. However, she had not expected to find herself in quite such a horrifying position as she was right now. Stuck in that moment, trapped.

Her parents had been in the crash also, yet the aftereffects did not have the same impact, physically or mentally, on them as they had on Kate. Although Kate was not one to sink into self-pity, it was challenging for her not to wonder why it was only herself suffering in such a way. She was not sure if she could ever truly recover and become the person she was before.

Those eyes…of course, she could not think about that night without remembering the man who saved her. The man attached to those mesmerizing, coffee-brown eyes. If he had not been at the scene of the accident, Kate was sure she would not have survived. No one had confirmed as much, as no one talked about the accident, so it was simply a feeling she had. 

His eyes had reassured her at the worst moment of her life. Without him, she would have had nothing to fight for. The pain may well have swallowed her up whole and sucked her life away. Much as Kate could not forget the accident, she also could not forget those eyes. The stranger and his warmth had plagued her dreams and idle thoughts ever since that day.

“Ah, no!” Kate tried to push herself up slightly, only into a sitting position, nothing too strenuous, but the throbbing in her right leg prevented her from doing so. It stopped her from doing a lot, which was why she could not simply fly passed that incident like everyone else had done, as if it were nothing. She had this terrible reminder with her at all times.

At least her bedroom, which had become her sanctuary recently, had over-sized windows, so she did not feel like she was missing out on the sunshine. Her four-poster bed with delicate lacy curtains dangling down was where she now spent most of her days, elevating and resting her sore leg.

The only thing neglected in her room now was the gorgeous dressing table where she used to enjoy sitting and examining her face while she had brushed her hair for hours on end.

Now, she did not even wish to see herself.

“Lady Langley?” The soft rapping that could only be caused by Nancy Benson, Kate’s maid with her dark hair twisted up into a tight bun and her long dark-colored uniform hanging to the floor, shook her from her sadness. Not fully, but enough to remind her that there were other people in the world as well as herself. Plus, Nancy always had a lovely, friendly smile, one that Kate had always found contagious, even when she was a little girl. “May I enter, please?”

“Come in.” Kate sighed. “And as I have expressed to you before, you may refer to me as Kate—”

She stopped herself before she got too far into that statement. She had been saying the same thing to Nancy for years because she was close to her maid and enjoyed the idea of them being friends, but Nancy would not give in to her. She considered it disrespectful and enjoyed her position at the Langley house too much to upset or insult anyone.

“Mr. Andrews has asked me to inform you of his arrival.” Nancy curtseyed low. “He is back to check on you.”

In her nightgown, in the bedchamber, was not the way that Kate wished to be seen by anyone, but Mr. Andrews had been assessing her ever since the accident, so this was not a sight that would trouble the doctor now.

Thankfully, Nancy handed Kate a paisley shawl with which she could cover her shoulders and torso, giving her a little bit of dignity.

“Please, let the physician through. I shall see him right away.” Kate attempted to sit up once more, expecting the pain now so that it was easier to push through the agony. ”Thank you very much, Nancy.”

There was never any way for Kate to prepare herself for a meeting with the doctor. 

He was a nice enough man, who never did anything to make her upset or uncomfortable despite the horror of her situation, yet Kate wished she did not have to see him at all. She wished that she could close her eyes and shut this nightmare out entirely, taking her back to the moment when she was dancing with Douglas, and absolutely everything was perfect.

Burning tears pricked behind Kate’s eyes, but she would not let them fall. She refused to allow herself to cry. Not now, not in front of the doctor. She did not want him to think of her as weak and broken by the accident. Even if she was…

Kate snapped her eyes open as soon as the footsteps of Doctor Andrews entered her room. He stepped with purpose, each stride strong and powerful, until he stood beside her bed. He said nothing as he placed his black leather medical bag on the floor, followed by a very unwelcome walking cane which Kate could not take her eyes off.

“Good morning, Miss Langley.” Doctor Andrews smiled warmly. “You are looking very well today.”

“I am?” Kate was not expecting that. Since she had been involved in the accident, no one had said anything positive about her looks. She had not made any effort to be beautiful since she had barely left her bed, never mind the house. 

“You have color in your cheeks that was not there before. I would take that as a positive sign. Now, I do need to check your leg. I want to see how your torn ligaments are doing.”

This did not excite Kate. She knew that it would be horrible, but she would not fuss. Not aloud, anyway. If she could keep her emotions and agony inside, she would do so. Her parents had raised her with that sort of refinement. However, as soon as he touched her, it was impossible to keep the grimace from her face. The pain had not improved at all.

The torn ligaments might have been improving, but not enough.

“You should be putting more pressure on this leg than you currently are.” This was not said in a scolding manner, but Kate felt it shoot through her in that way regardless. “I know you will not like the walking cane, but it is a place for you to begin.”

Kate eyed the deep brown cane with disdain and filled up with hatred for it. It had become the enemy. It might have been trying to look discrete with an intricate silver design of the handle but it screamed for the sort of attention that Kate did not want. “I do not think that will help me.”

“You cannot walk without it, though, am I correct?” Kate could only nod. “I see, and I assume you would not like to be in a position where you do not regain the full use of your leg.” Kate did not move this time. “Because while I cannot guarantee it with the walking cane, you are sure not to get anywhere if you refuse to use it. You will need to give it a try.”

Kate felt like that was easy for him to say, but not for her to do. She did not want to continue this struggle with her leg. She would have much rathered him come to her with a miracle cure so she could return to how her life had been beforehand, but that was not happening. There was no miracle cure. This was all up to her.

“I shall give it a try.” Kate’s voice was quiet, for she could not muster up the strength to be cheerful. “I will see what I can do.”

“The more effort you put into trying to heal, the easier it shall become.” Doctor Andrews cocked a knowing eyebrow at her, proving that it did not matter what she said, he would not believe her. He knew that she had resigned herself to giving up. “It will seem very challenging at first, but I believe in you, Lady Langley. I would love for you to work your hardest.”

Kate was not convinced, but she also was not going to argue with the doctor. If he wanted her to try, then she would. Perhaps she would even do it just to prove him wrong. If he doubted her, then it would drive her to give it a go. Then if he was wrong, she would tell him as much, and he would never be able to doubt her again.

***

The sun was a little less painful to look at as Kate leaned against the wall of her large, stately home with turrets bursting up toward the sky, reminding her of her childhood dream to be a princess. She used to sit at the windows at the top of her house, waiting for her darling prince to come and rescue her.

Huh, how silly that was.

But she wasn’t here to daydream today. She needed to get ready to attempt the garden on the doctor’s orders. It had taken her hours to drag herself out of bed, make her way down the stairs, and get outside. She’d been helped all the way by Nancy, but now she was here, she was not sure she had enough energy for this.

She used to love the gardens, before all of this. The exotic flowers, some of which she planted herself, the apple tree orchard where she used to gather up the fallen fruit pieces, and the bushes in which she could hide away and read her books were a sanctuary.

Now, the gardens were a heart-breaking challenge that she needed to complete.

“Do you need anything else from me, my lady?” Nancy asked warily. Kate shook her head. “I shall be inside then.”

Kate watched her go, wishing she could ask to go back to bed instead. But it had been almost as much of a strain on Nancy as Kate, so she did not want it to be for nothing. She would try the cane for Nancy as much as the doctor.

At least she could be sure that Nancy would not gossip about her and the use of the cane behind her back. Not like the ton might if they should see her.

The idea made Kate shudder painfully. 

“This should not be so much of a challenge,” she whispered angrily, pushing away thoughts of the faces she, quite frankly, never wanted to see again. “I should be able to walk.”

She could take a few steps without the cane, but not many. Her right leg was tender, sore, a little swollen right now, and very weak. She found if she leaned on the cane, taking the weight off her right leg, she could move a little further—in an extremely unladylike, ungainly manner. There was no way for Kate to make her walk more glamorous for polite company. Not with the limp and the cane.

It was so embarrassing. She wanted to weep; she wanted to give up on herself. 

“I shall not use this cane in public,” she groaned aloud. “Not among the ton. Not a chance.”

Kate had always liked being talked about before; she’d found it exciting to be the center of gossip. But that was when the gossip did not hurt her. Now, every word spoken behind her back was painful. Sometimes sympathetic, but mostly others were simply grateful that it was not them suffering so. Being seen with a cane would only make that worse. She did not want anyone to have more to discuss in regard to her.

Unfortunately, nothing else had happened to attract attention away from her. She was still the center of everything, which meant she would not be seen in public for a long while. The idea of all eyes upon her now terrified her.

Kate was far from the person she used to be.

She took a step, and a whimper automatically fell out of her mouth. Frustration careened through her entire body, tightening every single one of her muscles.

That would not help things, which Kate understood, yet how was she supposed to control such things? Her emotions had a mind of their own.

Walking was an activity that she had all but mastered eighteen years ago, just after her first birthday. Once she had learned the right way to put one foot in front of the other, that was supposed to be the end of it. She was not supposed to be in the exact same position years later.

When a small child learned to walk, it was considered adorable, a real achievement. For Kate, all of this was dreadful.

A bench lay up ahead. Kate had no choice but to make that her end goal if she wished to achieve anything today. It would have been quite easy to hide away back in her bedchambers with a demand to be left well alone. Everyone had become accustomed to that request now, but the doctor needed more for her, Nancy, too. Kate also wished to bypass the look of disappointment that her parents simply could not hide every single time they looked at her.

That look was sheer agony.

“Come on, leg,” she hissed in what was supposed to be a motivational manner, but again, it was more pure temper. “We need to keep on going. We have to.”

Burning hot tears balled up behind her eyes. The anger began to subside and become something entirely more painful as hurt took over.

Self-pity. An emotion Kate truly despised.

The carriage should not have lost control like that. It was not supposed to happen. She had not even been given answers as to why the driver careened off course on what should have been such an easy road to drive along.

She did not know why she was the one who landed underneath the carriage.

Perhaps if she were ever to meet the man attached to the coffee-colored eyes, she could get the answers that she so desperately needed. But he could not see her now. Not like this.

Kate lunged forward and grabbed onto the bench, practically dragging herself along the rest of the way. It might not have been the achievement she had been aiming for. She did not make it the short distance from the house to the bench with only the use of the cane, but she had done more than she thought she would this morning.

Kate took a seat on the bench to rest for a while. Even she had to admit that there was something up lifting about being outside. Not that the sun beating down on her shoulders could solve all of her life’s problems, but it was a little nice.

Maybe she did not need to focus on the idea of facing the ton as yet since she was likely a long way off from dancing at a ball again. She might not have to worry about that ever again; Kate was not sure if someone as crippled as she was would ever be invited. 

Perhaps if she simply tried to get herself outside in the sunshine, once a day only, merely to sit on this bench or one of the others in the gardens, then that could assist her.

It would please Mr. Andrews. He would no longer have any criticisms to throw her way about not even trying to walk. He would be over the moon to know she had even been using her walking cane. 

If it meant she could sit in the sun alone like this, with no one bothering her other than the birds tweeting in the sky, then it would be worth it.

This was the most peace that Kate had experienced in a very long time.

Chapter Two

William could not move from the position where he lay, slumped over his Embleton Manor sofa. He had positioned himself on its cushions a mere few hours before when he arrived home from a night of excessive drinking, one of his favorite activities, and playing the whist tables at Redfield’s. Whether he had won or not, William could not recall. It was not so much the point of the evening anyway. More important to him was the camaraderie and the fun. William very much needed to have a lot of fun.

If only the hours following the drinking were not quite so taxing. William would have preferred not to spend so much time with a pounding head and a terrible, sickly feeling in his stomach. It was not one bit enjoyable.

What did I do before I fell asleep right here? William thought, trying to stretch his mind like an elastic band, but it would not go that far. Who did I meet last night? With whom did I converse and what topics were discussed?

He knew no women would have been involved. None to catch his attention at any rate. William would not have returned back to the manor if so. He maintained a bachelor home in London for times when this occasion arose. His escapades with any women willing to spend the night with him, in particular courtesans, lonely wives, or widows, did not need to mix with his official life. His liaisons would always have no strings attached, which was why he required a separate location for them to happen. There was no one at the manor to be troubled by his female companions, but he preferred to keep his life there in his home separate from his fleeting encounters with women. 

A decade ago, William had lost his father. He died tragically from a short bout of scarlet fever which took him almost instantly, shocking the whole Moore family to their very core. Because it was so unexpected, no one had been prepared. Since then, the family had fractured and gone different ways. William remained at the manor and continued to run his textile business, but his mother and sister were so cut up by the loss that they simply could not stay in the home and took up residence in Bath.

They had been living there for such a long time now, missing many important milestones in William’s life. Most notably, they had failed to spend time with Gillian, not that William enjoyed getting caught up in memories of her, particularly not after a night of drinking. The alcohol had his brain foggy enough, and he did not need to do anything else to put himself in a terrible mood. Certainly, reliving his time with Gillian would not improve his current state. 

Nothing good could ever come from the past, or so William had come to believe. There was a reason things had to be left behind, so he hated to dredge them back up. 

No, he needed to focus on the tasks of the day. Work mostly, making sure his business and home were always in order. Then he wished to talk to the gardener to mention how his mother’s roses were looking a little less full of life these days. While she might not live in London anymore, it did not mean he would not honor her always. If only he could move from his position on the couch, then everything could begin. One step at a time.

“Perhaps there is nothing I should achieve today,” he murmured sleepily to himself. “Maybe this is where I shall stay.”

No sooner had that thought crossed his mind, than the butler from Embleton Manor spoke in his low dulcet tones, “Lord Moore.” Yet even that was enough to pain the brain cells within William’s head. “You have a visitor at the door.”

“A visitor?” William’s mouth was irritatingly dry as he sat up. “I do not have any plans today.”

There was a chance he did have plans; William was merely bluffing but, as it turned out, he was correct. This was not someone he had arranged to come and see him, rather a spontaneous visitor. 

“Doctor Andrews is insisting that he see you right away. Should I allow him to enter?”

There was no judgment in the butler’s tone, but William judged himself. If this were anyone other than Tristan he would not be seen in this state. He could not even be sure of how truly awful he looked, for he had not spotted his reflection yet this morning, but Mr. Andrews knew William well enough to demand to see him regardless. It would have to be fine.

He nodded, and the butler went to receive his guest.

“Ah, good morning, William.” Tristan looked defeated at the sight of William. “I see you have been out all night once more.”

“I hope you have not come here to lecture me.” William eyed Tristan with disdain as the doctor sat opposite him, giving him a critical assessment. “I do not need you to tell me about the dangers of too much alcohol. I am not in the mood.”

Tristan paused for a moment too long, causing William’s tension to increase inside. He had heard it all before, too many times. If the words had not already sunk in, then Tristan needed to learn that, unfortunately, they never would. This was the only way that William knew how to live. It was the only way he knew how to have a good time. He could not survive without fun, nor did he want to. He refused to live a stoic, boring existence just to please other people. It did not seem right.

Yet he did not have the strength or willpower to argue that with Tristan today. He wished he could be alone until the nasty aftereffects of spirits could subside. After which, he would be willing and able to do whatever was needed of him, even have this terrible, unwanted conversation about what he may or may not be doing to damage his insides.

“That is not why I am here.” William breathed out a sigh of relief as Tristan confirmed this. “While you know that I strongly believe you do drink too much, I have come to see you for another reason entirely. If you have the time?”

“I shall not be going anywhere any time soon,” William joked. “As you can tell…”

“Guess where I have just come from,” Tristan said mysteriously. William did not even bother to shrug, for there was no way he would be able to guess. “Ridgebrook Manor. I have checked in on Lady Katherine Langley.”

“You have?” That piqued William’s interest. He knew all about Lady Katherine Langley’s terrible carriage accident and the consequences. He had been there to witness it firsthand. Truly, it had been embedded into his brain but not for the reason one might think. It was, in fact, Lady Katherine, who had been on his mind ever since that night…

He would never tell Tristan, but Lady Katherine had been plaguing his thoughts and dreams, which was strange since he did not personally know her. He had only ever encountered her during that one moment, but the impact she’d had on him was monumental. Every time he allowed his mind to wander, it was her that it went to…

Well, when he was not focusing on the dreadful moment the carriage began to lose control in front of his very eyes, yet there was nothing he could do about it. He often wished he could have jumped in the way somehow, to prevent everything from going so wrong. But of course, that was a silly thought. Even if he had been close enough to touch the carriage, he did not have the strength to prevent it from toppling over.

But perhaps he could have assisted Lady Katherine faster.

“Well, the Duke of Ridgebrook has invited you and me to join the family for dinner in the next three days, so that is what I have come here to share with you. Be sure to keep your schedule free. You shall be expected to attend.”

William caught Tristan’s stern look. “I shall keep my schedule free. You do not need to worry about that.” He waved his hand dismissively. “I will also be careful with my drinking. This is a dinner party, not a night at the tables. I am aware of how to conduct myself. I do not need you warning me or attempting to look out for me. I have been conducting myself just fine in London society through all these years without any mishaps. I have not caused any major embarrassments…”

Tristan said nothing, but he did not need to. William could almost read his thoughts, and he was simply waiting for the moment that William did slip up and cause a scandal. But William was smarter than that. It would not happen.

Not again, at any rate.

“He shall wish nothing more than to thank us for our help on that night,” Tristan continued with the warning, even if William had made it obvious that he did not want to hear it. “For us assisting with the rescue of the Langley family after their accident. But we must also be sensitive of Lady Katherine. She is having a very challenging time after the carriage collision.”

That made William’s heart beat a little differently. Of course, the accident would have impacted her terribly; it was a nasty, horrible affair, but that sweet, beautiful woman did not deserve to suffer such misery. He immediately wondered if there was anything that he could do to assist her recovery…not that he was a doctor, or had any medical training. He supposed he would have to assess the situation during the dinner at Ridgebrook Manor. Not that he was in any position to help another person to be happy. Not really.

Perhaps focusing on his own happiness would be a good place to start, and by that, he meant real happiness. Not the sort found at the bottom of a bottle.

“I shall be there,” William replied firmly. “And I shall be on my best behavior. I will be very sensitive to everyone.”

Especially Lady Katherine. After all, even without knowing her, William felt like he had a deep-seated connection with her. The way their eyes locked for just the briefest of moments as she lay on the ground with a badly bumped head and her leg trapped…that minute changed everything for William. The world had moved a little differently.

There was something there between them. William had no way to explain what it was. He did not even know himself how to vocalize it, but the bond was overwhelming.

He knew the moment he sat down beside her that he must do whatever it took to save her life. Even without any medical prowess like Tristan, he did as he could. He’d helped pull the carriage off of her, then held her before he made sure she was taken home and a doctor called for her.

She had lived, but it seemed very much like she was not the same person anymore. She had been affected too badly for that.

William had not been given the chance to see Lady Katherine ever since that moment. The little pieces of news he heard from Tristan, which he had to pick up in between bits of conversation, he could not simply ask aloud without questions being asked; he had deduced that she had barely left her bedchambers since the incident.

It was a real shame.

Who knew what was going to happen at the dinner, though. William was looking forward to finding out. That came as a shock to him because society events such as a dinner party did not normally appeal to him at all.

***

Thankfully, William had recovered much more by the afternoon because, as it turned out, he did have plans for the day: a round of tennis with the wealthy merchant, Robert Cavendish. This was a popular man, well-accepted by London society, yet many people believed that he had things hidden in his background. William chose to think of him as emotionally guarded instead. Since he was not the most forthcoming of men himself, he preferred to see the best in others.

The carriage ride to the tennis courts had left William a little unnerved. He had been uncomfortable with carriage rides ever since he had seen the accident two months ago, but discussing it today with Tristan had really put him on edge. He could not wait until he was at his destination and did not have to travel in a manner out of his control.

It moved too fast, the carriage that crashed, and although William was not too close when it happened, he thought the wheels might have bumped something on the road.

The way the carriage flipped over and everyone flew from it was a terrifying sight. He had run along with Tristan right away to help out as much as he could, although the sight of blood had always made him queasy.

William was not a man who could ever leave someone in need.

Lady Katherine had been harmed most by the accident. The duke had bumped his head, and the duchess had appeared very ruffled. The horses and footmen had been rattled as well, but poor Lady Katherine…As she lay in the road with her leg trapped under one of the very heavy wheels, he knew that she would struggle for a long time to come.

Perhaps that was why he had not been able to stop thinking about her.

Every little bump in the road had him gripping onto his seat a little tighter. Each knock to the left or right spiked anxiety in his chest. He might not have been directly involved in the carriage accident, but it affected him none the less.

Being on solid ground once more was a relief to William, as was the sight of Robert. Robert, who the ton thought of as tall, dark, and very handsome, but his friends knew there was so much more to him. He had a wicked sense of humor and a very infectious laugh.

William needed a laugh today, and that was what he got.

At least, it was until the tennis games were over, and later on in the tea room, the subject of marriage was brought up. That was not something he was in the mood to talk about today. He might have recovered from his long night out, yet not enough for this. Marriage and love brought up so many old feelings he did not like. He would have preferred to head straight into the fencing strip to practice the art of sword fighting.

“Now we have lost Tristan to marriage as well.” Robert laughed, treating it as if his friends were simply dropping like flies. “He does seem truly happy with Emily, and of course, I am overjoyed for them, yet there are not many of us bachelors left, are there? With Marcus Colborne wed to Gemma, too. Living at the seaside with a child on the way…everything is changing.”

“I suppose we are at that age now,” William replied tautly. “I am twenty-nine years of age, you are twenty-eight. Our friends are all going to be married and having families. We are the ones being left behind, if you choose to see it that way.”

“I have not found a woman who intrigues me enough for marriage.” Robert shrugged. “So, I am happy for the time being. Perhaps one day that will change, but for the moment, I am merely enjoying myself as much as I can.”

William opened his mouth, about to agree, but almost immediately, his mind drifted back to his earlier conversation with Tristan about Lady Katherine. He did not know her, yet he had not stopped thinking of her, and there should be a reason for that. Perhaps it would not be love, but he was not looking for love ever again. Not after what happened before with Gillian. Yet, he liked the idea of getting to know her better, speaking with her at the family meal, and seeing who she was.

Who knew what would come from that? William was more intrigued than he’d expected.

“Well, let us begin our practice,” William teased. “And let us hope that I do not remove your head before you have chance to find this mysterious woman of yours.”

Robert snorted with good-natured laughter. “Oh, William, you should be so lucky…”